she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
