forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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