well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
