Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
