Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
