uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i think i have herpe
just one?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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