I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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