The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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