Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
