stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
