Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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