tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
