does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
