My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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