who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm passing your future prison.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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