Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
