He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
