he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hippo gnu deer
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
