Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
