Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
