Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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