There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
