so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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