A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
