why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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