Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
