Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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