i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
