I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
