Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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