Kiss
Puke
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
