He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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