He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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