You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
