I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
