you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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