Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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