Having a random hookup so left but love u
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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