She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
