Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
