This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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