then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This baby is an asshole
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
