Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
