I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
