ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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