All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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