I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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