He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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