There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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