You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
