I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
